What Really Makes Us Happy?
Insights from the Longest Study on Happiness
I spend a lot of time exposing the shadows of the wellness and New Age industry—helping others recognize what to be on guard for. It’s easy, in those moments, to want to toss the entire thing out—to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Believe me, I’ve been there. Disillusionment does that to a person.
But seeing through the illusion is a good thing. It brings clarity. It allows us to separate what doesn’t serve from what truly does. And in my purpose of helping others, that distinction is essential.
What follows is some of what does work—what is truly helpful.
What is happiness? It’s a question that has fascinated philosophers and scientists for centuries. Is it wealth? Success? Pleasure? The answer isn’t as simple as we might think.
To truly understand what makes life fulfilling, researchers at Harvard University launched the longest-running study on happiness—the Harvard Study of Adult Development—which has tracked participants for over 85 years. The findings? Deep, meaningful relationships are the key to lasting happiness. 1
The Harvard Study on Happiness
This remarkable study began in 1938, following two groups of men—one from Harvard and one from low-income neighborhoods in Boston—throughout their lives. Over the decades, researchers examined their physical health, mental well-being, careers, relationships, and more.
Now in its second generation, with participants added, the study has produced one profound conclusion:
👉 Good relationships keep us happier and healthier.
It’s not about how many people we interact with, but rather the quality of those connections. Have people you can depend on? That’s what truly matters.
The Two Types of Happiness
The study also highlights an important distinction between two forms of happiness:
1. Hedonic Happiness (Short-Term Pleasure)
This type of happiness comes from seeking enjoyment and avoiding pain—think about indulging in good food, entertainment, or buying something new. It’s self-focused, driven by the question:
➡️ “What can I get?”
While there’s nothing wrong with pleasure, relying only on this type of happiness can be harmful. In fact, studies show that an overemphasis on hedonic pursuits can lead to higher stress levels and inflammation in the body. 2
2. Eudaimonic Happiness (Long-Term Meaning)
This form of happiness is rooted in purpose, personal growth, and contribution to something greater than oneself. It’s other-focused, asking:
➡️ “How can I contribute?”
People who cultivate eudaimonic happiness tend to have better mental health, greater life satisfaction, and even longer lifespans.
What This Means for Us Today
In a world of instant gratification and digital distractions, it’s easy to chase temporary highs instead of lasting fulfillment. The Harvard study reminds us:
✅ Deep relationships matter. Who can you turn to when life gets tough? Who truly understands you? Invest in those relationships.
✅ Meaning is greater than momentary pleasure. While fun is important, real happiness comes from connection, contribution, and personal growth.
✅ Loneliness is harmful. It’s not just an emotional struggle, it has been linked to higher stress, worse health, and a shorter lifespan.
Final Takeaway: Chase Meaning, Not Just Pleasure
If this study teaches us anything, it’s that real happiness isn’t about wealth or fleeting highs—it’s about meaningful relationships and purpose.
In this time of division and uncertainty, let’s use these insights as a guidepost—a reminder to nurture deep connections and seek fulfillment beyond the surface level. Let us also choose leaders that do the same- that understand the power of meaning and the impact of true connection. Leaders who prioritize unity over division, service over self-interest, and long-term well-being over short-term gain create societies that thrive.
In a world increasingly shaped by polarization and misinformation, we need leaders who foster compassion, wisdom, and genuine human connection—not just those who seek power for its own sake. The Harvard study reminds us that the quality of our relationships—both personal and collective—determines our overall well-being.
So, as we move forward, let’s not just pursue REAL happiness in our own lives. Let’s also demand leadership that values what truly matters: meaning, integrity, empathy, and a commitment to the greater good.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
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1 https://www.harvard.edu/in-focus/happiness/
2 https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9986616/?utm_source=chatgpt.com