The Dress, The Mind, and The Truth
Why Perception is Not Reality
In 2015, a simple photo of a dress nearly broke the internet. Half the world saw it as white and gold, the other half swore it was blue and black. Friendships were tested, families divided, and the debate raged on. But beyond the viral moment, The Dress meme revealed something profound: perception is not reality. 1
The colors we see are not inherent to objects themselves. Instead, they are constructs of our brains, shaped by how our eyes process light and how our minds interpret that input. And if something as seemingly objective as color is a construct, what does that say about our beliefs, identities, and personal narratives?
Beliefs are Like Colors—They Feel Real, But They’re Constructed
When we look at a lemon, we see yellow. But in reality, the lemon isn’t yellow—it’s simply reflecting red and green light while absorbing blue. Our brains then interpret that mix as “yellow.” The color itself exists only in our minds.
The same is true for our beliefs. Many of the “truths” we hold about ourselves—I’m not good enough, I always fail, people can’t be trusted, my truth is the truth—feel as accurate as the color yellow. But like The Dress, these beliefs are interpretations, shaped by past experiences, cultural conditioning, and cognitive biases. When a belief feels like absolute truth, we rarely stop to question it. But what if we did?
Cognitive Biases: The Filters That Shape Our Reality
Why did some people see The Dress as blue and black while others saw white and gold? The difference came down to unconscious assumptions about lighting. If your brain assumed the dress was in shadow, it adjusted for that lighting and saw one set of colors. If it assumed bright light, it saw another. Researchers concluded that this difference in perception was influenced by prior environmental exposure—people who spent more time indoors under artificial light tended to see The Dress as black and blue, while those who were frequently exposed to natural light saw it as white and gold.2
What was less important than the actual color was that each group felt sure of their positions.
This is exactly how cognitive biases shape our beliefs. Two people can experience the same event—a job loss, a breakup, a challenging conversation, a tragedy, a news story—and walk away with completely different interpretations because their brains filter the experience through different past narratives.
In coaching (and in life), this is why perspective work is so powerful. When clients feel stuck in a particular story, it’s often because they are looking at it through a specific “lighting condition.” Asking the right questions—What else could be true? What information might I be missing?—can shift that perception, revealing entirely new possibilities.
Beliefs Can Change—Just Like Perception
One of the most fascinating things about The Dress was that, for some people, the colors shifted. What once appeared white and gold suddenly looked blue and black (or vice versa). This change happened because their brains received new input—perhaps they saw the dress in a different context, or someone explained the lighting trick at play.
We often think of transformation as a long, arduous process, but often, all it takes is one new insight, one different perspective, one shift in context for a belief to change. A client who has spent years believing they’re not good enough might suddenly recall a moment of past success that contradicts that belief. The “color” of their self-perception changes. The same holds true for deeply ingrained political, religious, or societal beliefs— all it takes is one crack that lets in the light. And once the light is there—once you see the color—you can’t unsee it.
Research by Redlawsk (2010) found that beliefs begin to change when at least 30% of the information presented is incongruent with existing beliefs.3 Before this tipping point, people tend to dismiss conflicting information. But when contradictions accumulate to a critical level, the brain can no longer ignore them, leading to belief revision rather than entrenchment.
When Conflicting Perceptions Collide
The internet war over The Dress was a perfect example of what happens in any deep-seated disagreement. Each side was convinced they were right, unable to fathom how the other could see it differently. The same thing happens in political debates, relationship conflicts, and personal struggles. When we assume our perspective is the only reality, we create division—both externally and within ourselves.
In deep coaching work, we help clients step into curiosity over certainty—instead of assuming a belief or reaction is absolute, we explore:
What is at the root of this belief?
What patterns have reinforced this perspective?
What happens if I consider a different angle?
The ability to hold multiple perspectives at once is a sign of emotional intelligence and psychological flexibility. It allows for more growth, deeper understanding, and ultimately, greater freedom. It is also how we let the light in to see more clearly. It is how we assimilate and accommodate—it is how we learn and evolve.
Seeing Beyond Our Own Color Filter
Arguing over the color of a dress is indeed innocuous. But beliefs are anything but. Recognizing that color is an illusion doesn’t mean it’s meaningless—it means it’s a powerful creation of our minds. The same is true for beliefs. They shape our experiences profoundly, yet they are not set in stone. They can shift. They can evolve. They should grow as we gain new information and learn.
So, rather than argue over what we believe, perhaps we should focus on why and how we believe it. Because when we recognize the fluid nature of our perceptions, we don’t just change our minds—we expand our reality.
So the question is:
What “color” have you been seeing your reality in? And what might happen if you looked at it through a different light?
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Photo by D A V I D S O N L U N A on Unsplash
1 To see the actual dress in question, go here. http://brainden.com/color-illusions.htm
2 McRaney, David. How Minds Change: The New Science of Belief, Opinion and Persuasion. Oneworld, 2023.
3 Redlawsk, David P., et al. “The affective tipping point: Do motivated Reasoners ever ‘get it’?” Political Psychology, vol. 31, no. 4, 12 July 2010, pp. 563–593, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9221.2010.00772.x.